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Is he hookup me for my looks

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Messages You have no messages. Notifications You have no notifications. As I was writing the title of this topic I am picturing what I would assume about a woman if I was reading that.

Maybe I'd assume she was a big flirt, or not the kind of nice girl you take home to Mom, or that she is the easy type men use for sex. None of that is true though. I am in my late 30s, Mom to one teenage child, very successful in my job, from a really nice family, really educated and I rarely have sex can't even remember the last time to be honest. People who know me would probably describe me as kind, funny, loving, open, playful, fun.

I am not needy or desperate on any level and just a normal person. Open and affectionate but also not needy or clingy with men.

The last 3 men I dated all dated me for about 2 months 4 or 5 dates and then either cheated or lost interest. The last guy I dated didn't stop telling me I was out of his league, beautiful, smart but he slept with someone else right when I was beginning to get to know him and blew the whole relationship before he even got to know me.

I have a problem with men seeming to see me as a fantasy object as some sort. They chase after me very intensely, sometimes obsessively for months or even years but they seem to just want a fantasy and not the real person. I made the choice a few months ago to just completely stop dating because I honestly could just not take any more of it and then last night a situation got me very upset and I have been crying Is he hookup me for my looks my pyjamas ever since.

My friend, Mark, has been friends with me for about 2 years when we started working together. Since day one he was obviously really attracted to me, but when we met he had just started dating someone else and he is still with her, so we never got together. We have been friends though for the past two years, we chat bit about general stuff - politics, work and know each other fairly well. I'd have said I considered him a friend and someone I trusted and who I thought valued me as a person and he's been a great cheerleader through all my dating disappointments; always telling me I deserved so much better and would find someone who was good enough for me.

A while ago he confessed to me that he was thinking of leaving his girlfriend because he could not stop thinking about me the past two years and it was messing with his mind. I suggested to him that we stop speaking and he figure out things with his girlfriend and that if he was ever single he should look me up because I'd be open Is he hookup me for my looks dating him, but only if he was single.

Last night he sent me a message and basically told me he had tried to push me out of his head and couldn't. He told me he thought about me every day, all the time and he said I Is he hookup me for my looks so beautiful, so incredibly sexy, so smart, so funny and so unique and that he was finding it really hard to let go of the idea of being with me. I tried to have a reasoned conversation with him about it and I said to him that maybe if he had felt this strongly about me for two years consistently, that maybe he should break up with his girlfriend and we should explore dating.

He said to me that he'd considered that but he felt we were "too different" and a relationship wouldn't work. I just got so upset by that. I mean - what is he saying? I just want someone to see me as a girlfriend, and not just an object. Is there some sort of quality I am missing?

Discover his true intentions.

Delete Report Edit Lock Reported. Respond Your response must be between 3 and characters. Himself Send a private message. I have an indelicate question, and please do not feel you have to answer it. Were you having sex with the men you dated for a month or two? If so, that might be working against you.

It might be a good strategy to make it clear you don't multidate and don't want to be with a man who does. You want to date to get to know them, and probably keep sex off the menu until you have both agreed to be exclusive.

I think that sends a message that you are serious about a relationship.

"My boyfriend always makes sure...

That's a limit my wife had when we first met. I respected that, even though I fierce wanted to bed her still do. Don't mistake that a man wanting sex is Is he hookup me for my looks a sign you are being treated as an object.

We all do, we just don't all want to pump and dump. So your mission is to avoid those men. Putting the no multidaters in a profile delicately of course might help to sift out the kind of man you're having trouble with.

You might also want to try some meet up groups to widen your social circle of men. I'm biased toward meeting in person rather than the Internet if possible. It's how I met the missus. Edited on March 25, at Delete Report Edit Reported Reply. This reply was removed by a moderator.

He told me he thought...

Thank you so much. Your wife sounds very lucky: Hopefully one day I meet someone who feels that way about me too. I don't mind the delicate questions.

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I sometimes sleep with them early, sometimes I wait quite a while. One guy I slept with on a second date, one I made wait for almost a year before I even agreed to a date in the first place - and so I don't know what hurts worse. To get used for sex right away, or to have someone you have known a long time do it? Before you ask, no the sex wasn't bad - both those guys still contact me to say "that was the Is he hookup me for my looks sex ever, I always think about it", trying to get a repeat performance and yes, I ignore.

It always follows this pattern I give them a shot 3. I walk away 5. They come running back 3 - 6 months later saying they made a huge mistake This literally happens to me every single time without any exceptions.

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I am going to be 40 in a few months, and it just makes me sad that I just want to be sharing these parts of my life with someone I can trust and who sees me for who I am. It's just really lonely and I feel like something must be wrong with me that people want to sleep with me so badly but can't bear the idea of actually being my boyfriend! To be clear, I don't think waiting a long or short time matters. What matters is to be exclusive first.

As for the chasing, I think you might nip that in the bid by just going out with a chaser fast. Then make your decision about whether words and actions match. Yes, there may be some who are eejits, try to move on. It, sadly, takes going through a number of men to find the one for you. Yes maybe that's good advice. I did always work off the presumption is was a given that if you're dating and sleeping together it's exclusive but I am Is he hookup me for my looks sure everyone shares my ideas on that!

MrsVanDeKamp Send a private message. This is so true. My husband was used to sleeping with women within dates. We waited two months to have sex because I wanted to make sure that my then boyfriend wanted a relationship. I have the same problem too. Your advice is very good Himself. But how do you go about asking to be exclusive without them running to the hills and how do you word it? Also my now ex boyfriend when he was my boyfriend has sex at his but won't take Is he hookup me for my looks out and when I try talking to him in a club he ignores me cause he says he says he wants to pick up other women.

I asked him to make plans and he just says he doesn't want a relationship but I been seeing him for a year and a half, how is that not a relationship??? I met this girl last week that he also fucked and we were talking about what an idiot he was.

I told her how he had treated me and she said hes also going camping with an ex this week and she said please save me from him. Edited on July 24, at Nicky Send a private message. Reading ur text was like I had wrote itI have exactly same thing happen to me Lousyweather Send a private message.

This is a difficult question in that none of us know the real you, only he person you choose to put out before us What King said, certainly. Single Moms and Dads! I am onehave a stigma attached. Your child ren come first, and rightly so. But potential suitors, be them male or female, view this as less attention that's available to themselves, so, a big negative.

Also, what type of man are you attracted to? Do you gravitate toward the "playas" who aren't in truth looking for a real relationship, just sex? Many women are, and they seem clueless when the man goes on to the next girl. Have you talked with men who know you as friends, rather than a potential romantic interest?

I have always been attracted to men my age or a little older, always attracted to a good education and intelligence, always attracted to a good conversation and good sense of humour and I like little signs of kindness like how they treat a waitress or talk to their kids. I am really turned off by bad boys so I am surprised I have ended up with "playas" when that's not what I want.

If you think about the...

In my age bracket I honestly don't mix with single men much anymore - they are all married to my friends. It was a question that lit this lightbulb in my head and made me think, 'Oh, “I felt like most guys I dated would hook up with me and then leave. 40 Signs He Wants A Long Term Relationship Vs. He Just Wants To Hookup Dating in the modern world that we live in these days can be Is he hookup me for my looks hard.

You're. Men with low testosterone and high mental presence will not look to hook up. If one uses Tinder to find their relationship, then it's likely that the babies are about to be flowing, and they will be the plague Correct me please if I am incorrect.

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